giovedì 16 gennaio 2014

WST/3/03. § 3. William Shakespeare Teatro Completo: 1°. All’s Well That Ends Well: c) Act II.

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Libero adattamento per finalità autodidattiche di testi e registrazioni di pubblico dominio tratti da Librivox. Acoustical liberation of books in the public domain. Opere complete di William Shakespeare. Nostra numerazione del Brano: 3. Teatro: All’s Well That Ends Well (1603). Testo derivato dal "Gutenberg Project e registrazione da Librivox.org. Serie: 03 Act II. Reader: Group: download oppure Internet Archive Page  su “Act II” (3).  Etext: Gutenberg Online.  - Dizionari: Dicios; Sansoni. Link: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
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§ 3.
ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
Act II

SCENE 1. → 2. 3. 4. 5.



Paris. The King’s palace
ACT II
SCENE I. Paris. The KING's palace.

    Flourish of cornets. Enter the KING, attended with divers young Lords taking leave for the Florentine war; BERTRAM, and PAROLLES

KING

    Farewell, young lords; these warlike principles
    Do not throw from you: and you, my lords, farewell:
    Share the advice betwixt you; if both gain, all
    The gift doth stretch itself as 'tis received,
    And is enough for both.

First Lord

    'Tis our hope, sir,
    After well enter'd soldiers, to return
    And find your grace in health.

KING

    No, no, it cannot be; and yet my heart
    Will not confess he owes the malady
    That doth my life besiege. Farewell, young lords;
    Whether I live or die, be you the sons
    Of worthy Frenchmen: let higher Italy,--
    Those bated that inherit but the fall
    Of the last monarchy,--see that you come
    Not to woo honour, but to wed it; when
    The bravest questant shrinks, find what you seek,
    That fame may cry you loud: I say, farewell.

Second Lord

    Health, at your bidding, serve your majesty!

KING

    Those girls of Italy, take heed of them:
    They say, our French lack language to deny,
    If they demand: beware of being captives,
    Before you serve.

Both

    Our hearts receive your warnings.

KING

    Farewell. Come hither to me.

    Exit, attended

First Lord

    O, my sweet lord, that you will stay behind us!

PAROLLES

    'Tis not his fault, the spark.

Second Lord

    O, 'tis brave wars!

PAROLLES

    Most admirable: I have seen those wars.

BERTRAM

    I am commanded here, and kept a coil with
    'Too young' and 'the next year' and ''tis too early.'

PAROLLES

    An thy mind stand to't, boy, steal away bravely.

BERTRAM

    I shall stay here the forehorse to a smock,
    Creaking my shoes on the plain masonry,
    Till honour be bought up and no sword worn
    But one to dance with! By heaven, I'll steal away.

First Lord

    There's honour in the theft.

PAROLLES

    Commit it, count.

Second Lord

    I am your accessary; and so, farewell.

BERTRAM

    I grow to you, and our parting is a tortured body.

First Lord

    Farewell, captain.

Second Lord

    Sweet Monsieur Parolles!

PAROLLES

    Noble heroes, my sword and yours are kin. Good
    sparks and lustrous, a word, good metals: you shall
    find in the regiment of the Spinii one Captain
    Spurio, with his cicatrice, an emblem of war, here
    on his sinister cheek; it was this very sword
    entrenched it: say to him, I live; and observe his
    reports for me.

First Lord

    We shall, noble captain.

    Exeunt Lords

PAROLLES

    Mars dote on you for his novices! what will ye do?

BERTRAM

    Stay: the king.

    Re-enter KING. BERTRAM and PAROLLES retire

PAROLLES

    [To BERTRAM] Use a more spacious ceremony to the
    noble lords; you have restrained yourself within the
    list of too cold an adieu: be more expressive to
    them: for they wear themselves in the cap of the
    time, there do muster true gait, eat, speak, and
    move under the influence of the most received star;
    and though the devil lead the measure, such are to
    be followed: after them, and take a more dilated farewell.

BERTRAM

    And I will do so.

PAROLLES

    Worthy fellows; and like to prove most sinewy sword-men.

    Exeunt BERTRAM and PAROLLES

    Enter LAFEU

LAFEU

    [Kneeling] Pardon, my lord, for me and for my tidings.

KING

    I'll fee thee to stand up.

LAFEU

    Then here's a man stands, that has brought his pardon.
    I would you had kneel'd, my lord, to ask me mercy,
    And that at my bidding you could so stand up.

KING

    I would I had; so I had broke thy pate,
    And ask'd thee mercy for't.

LAFEU

    Good faith, across: but, my good lord 'tis thus;
    Will you be cured of your infirmity?

KING

    No.

LAFEU

    O, will you eat no grapes, my royal fox?
    Yes, but you will my noble grapes, an if
    My royal fox could reach them: I have seen a medicine
    That's able to breathe life into a stone,
    Quicken a rock, and make you dance canary
    With spritely fire and motion; whose simple touch,
    Is powerful to araise King Pepin, nay,
    To give great Charlemain a pen in's hand,
    And write to her a love-line.

KING

    What 'her' is this?

LAFEU

    Why, Doctor She: my lord, there's one arrived,
    If you will see her: now, by my faith and honour,
    If seriously I may convey my thoughts
    In this my light deliverance, I have spoke
    With one that, in her sex, her years, profession,
    Wisdom and constancy, hath amazed me more
    Than I dare blame my weakness: will you see her
    For that is her demand, and know her business?
    That done, laugh well at me.

KING

    Now, good Lafeu,
    Bring in the admiration; that we with thee
    May spend our wonder too, or take off thine
    By wondering how thou took'st it.

LAFEU

    Nay, I'll fit you,
    And not be all day neither.

    Exit

KING

    Thus he his special nothing ever prologues.

    Re-enter LAFEU, with HELENA

LAFEU

    Nay, come your ways.

KING

    This haste hath wings indeed.

LAFEU

    Nay, come your ways:
    This is his majesty; say your mind to him:
    A traitor you do look like; but such traitors
    His majesty seldom fears: I am Cressid's uncle,
    That dare leave two together; fare you well.

    Exit

KING

    Now, fair one, does your business follow us?

HELENA

    Ay, my good lord.
    Gerard de Narbon was my father;
    In what he did profess, well found.

KING

    I knew him.

HELENA

    The rather will I spare my praises towards him:
    Knowing him is enough. On's bed of death
    Many receipts he gave me: chiefly one.
    Which, as the dearest issue of his practise,
    And of his old experience the oily darling,
    He bade me store up, as a triple eye,
    Safer than mine own two, more dear; I have so;
    And hearing your high majesty is touch'd
    With that malignant cause wherein the honour
    Of my dear father's gift stands chief in power,
    I come to tender it and my appliance
    With all bound humbleness.

KING

    We thank you, maiden;
    But may not be so credulous of cure,
    When our most learned doctors leave us and
    The congregated college have concluded
    That labouring art can never ransom nature
    From her inaidible estate; I say we must not
    So stain our judgment, or corrupt our hope,
    To prostitute our past-cure malady
    To empirics, or to dissever so
    Our great self and our credit, to esteem
    A senseless help when help past sense we deem.

HELENA

    My duty then shall pay me for my pains:
    I will no more enforce mine office on you.
    Humbly entreating from your royal thoughts
    A modest one, to bear me back again.

KING

    I cannot give thee less, to be call'd grateful:
    Thou thought'st to help me; and such thanks I give
    As one near death to those that wish him live:
    But what at full I know, thou know'st no part,
    I knowing all my peril, thou no art.

HELENA

    What I can do can do no hurt to try,
    Since you set up your rest 'gainst remedy.
    He that of greatest works is finisher
    Oft does them by the weakest minister:
    So holy writ in babes hath judgment shown,
    When judges have been babes; great floods have flown
    From simple sources, and great seas have dried
    When miracles have by the greatest been denied.
    Oft expectation fails and most oft there
    Where most it promises, and oft it hits
    Where hope is coldest and despair most fits.

KING

    I must not hear thee; fare thee well, kind maid;
    Thy pains not used must by thyself be paid:
    Proffers not took reap thanks for their reward.

HELENA

    Inspired merit so by breath is barr'd:
    It is not so with Him that all things knows
    As 'tis with us that square our guess by shows;
    But most it is presumption in us when
    The help of heaven we count the act of men.
    Dear sir, to my endeavours give consent;
    Of heaven, not me, make an experiment.
    I am not an impostor that proclaim
    Myself against the level of mine aim;
    But know I think and think I know most sure
    My art is not past power nor you past cure.

KING

    Are thou so confident? within what space
    Hopest thou my cure?

HELENA

    The great'st grace lending grace
    Ere twice the horses of the sun shall bring
    Their fiery torcher his diurnal ring,
    Ere twice in murk and occidental damp
    Moist Hesperus hath quench'd his sleepy lamp,
    Or four and twenty times the pilot's glass
    Hath told the thievish minutes how they pass,
    What is infirm from your sound parts shall fly,
    Health shall live free and sickness freely die.

KING

    Upon thy certainty and confidence
    What darest thou venture?

HELENA

    Tax of impudence,
    A strumpet's boldness, a divulged shame
    Traduced by odious ballads: my maiden's name
    Sear'd otherwise; nay, worse--if worse--extended
    With vilest torture let my life be ended.

KING

    Methinks in thee some blessed spirit doth speak
    His powerful sound within an organ weak:
    And what impossibility would slay
    In common sense, sense saves another way.
    Thy life is dear; for all that life can rate
    Worth name of life in thee hath estimate,
    Youth, beauty, wisdom, courage, all
    That happiness and prime can happy call:
    Thou this to hazard needs must intimate
    Skill infinite or monstrous desperate.
    Sweet practiser, thy physic I will try,
    That ministers thine own death if I die.

HELENA

    If I break time, or flinch in property
    Of what I spoke, unpitied let me die,
    And well deserved: not helping, death's my fee;
    But, if I help, what do you promise me?

KING

    Make thy demand.

HELENA

    But will you make it even?

KING

    Ay, by my sceptre and my hopes of heaven.

HELENA

    Then shalt thou give me with thy kingly hand
    What husband in thy power I will command:
    Exempted be from me the arrogance
    To choose from forth the royal blood of France,
    My low and humble name to propagate
    With any branch or image of thy state;
    But such a one, thy vassal, whom I know
    Is free for me to ask, thee to bestow.

KING

    Here is my hand; the premises observed,
    Thy will by my performance shall be served:
    So make the choice of thy own time, for I,
    Thy resolved patient, on thee still rely.
    More should I question thee, and more I must,
    Though more to know could not be more to trust,
    From whence thou camest, how tended on: but rest
    Unquestion'd welcome and undoubted blest.
    Give me some help here, ho! If thou proceed
    As high as word, my deed shall match thy meed.

    Flourish. Exeunt

SCENE 2. → 2. 3.

Rousillon. The count’s palace

SCENE II. Rousillon. The COUNT's palace.

    Enter COUNTESS and Clown

COUNTESS

    Come on, sir; I shall now put you to the height of
    your breeding.

Clown

    I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught: I
    know my business is but to the court.

COUNTESS

    To the court! why, what place make you special,
    when you put off that with such contempt? But to the court!

Clown

    Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he
    may easily put it off at court: he that cannot make
    a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand and say nothing,
    has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed
    such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the
    court; but for me, I have an answer will serve all
    men.

COUNTESS

    Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all
    questions.

Clown

    It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks,
    the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn
    buttock, or any buttock.

COUNTESS

    Will your answer serve fit to all questions?

Clown

    As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney,
    as your French crown for your taffeta punk, as Tib's
    rush for Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove
    Tuesday, a morris for May-day, as the nail to his
    hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding queen
    to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the
    friar's mouth, nay, as the pudding to his skin.

COUNTESS

    Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for all
    questions?

Clown

    From below your duke to beneath your constable, it
    will fit any question.

COUNTESS

    It must be an answer of most monstrous size that
    must fit all demands.

Clown

    But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned
    should speak truth of it: here it is, and all that
    belongs to't. Ask me if I am a courtier: it shall
    do you no harm to learn.

COUNTESS

    To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in
    question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I
    pray you, sir, are you a courtier?

Clown

    O Lord, sir! There's a simple putting off. More,
    more, a hundred of them.

COUNTESS

    Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you.

Clown

    O Lord, sir! Thick, thick, spare not me.

COUNTESS

    I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.

Clown

    O Lord, sir! Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.

COUNTESS

    You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.

Clown

    O Lord, sir! spare not me.

COUNTESS

    Do you cry, 'O Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and
    'spare not me?' Indeed your 'O Lord, sir!' is very
    sequent to your whipping: you would answer very well
    to a whipping, if you were but bound to't.

Clown

    I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my 'O Lord,
    sir!' I see things may serve long, but not serve ever.

COUNTESS

    I play the noble housewife with the time
    To entertain't so merrily with a fool.

Clown

    O Lord, sir! why, there't serves well again.

COUNTESS

    An end, sir; to your business. Give Helen this,
    And urge her to a present answer back:
    Commend me to my kinsmen and my son:
    This is not much.

Clown

    Not much commendation to them.

COUNTESS

    Not much employment for you: you understand me?

Clown

    Most fruitfully: I am there before my legs.

COUNTESS

    Haste you again.

    Exeunt severally

SCENE 3. → 4. 5.

 Paris. The king’s palace


SCENE III. Paris. The KING's palace.

    Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES

LAFEU

    They say miracles are past; and we have our
    philosophical persons, to make modern and familiar,
    things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that
    we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves
    into seeming knowledge, when we should submit
    ourselves to an unknown fear.

PAROLLES

    Why, 'tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath
    shot out in our latter times.

BERTRAM

    And so 'tis.

LAFEU

    To be relinquish'd of the artists,--

PAROLLES

    So I say.

LAFEU

    Both of Galen and Paracelsus.

PAROLLES

    So I say.

LAFEU

    Of all the learned and authentic fellows,--

PAROLLES

    Right; so I say.

LAFEU

    That gave him out incurable,--

PAROLLES

    Why, there 'tis; so say I too.

LAFEU

    Not to be helped,--

PAROLLES

    Right; as 'twere, a man assured of a--

LAFEU

    Uncertain life, and sure death.

PAROLLES

    Just, you say well; so would I have said.

LAFEU

    I may truly say, it is a novelty to the world.

PAROLLES

    It is, indeed: if you will have it in showing, you
    shall read it in--what do you call there?

LAFEU

    A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly actor.

PAROLLES

    That's it; I would have said the very same.

LAFEU

    Why, your dolphin is not lustier: 'fore me,
    I speak in respect--

PAROLLES

    Nay, 'tis strange, 'tis very strange, that is the
    brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a most
    facinerious spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the--

LAFEU

    Very hand of heaven.

PAROLLES

    Ay, so I say.

LAFEU

    In a most weak--

    pausing
    and debile minister, great power, great
    transcendence: which should, indeed, give us a
    further use to be made than alone the recovery of
    the king, as to be--

    pausing
    generally thankful.

PAROLLES

    I would have said it; you say well. Here comes the king.

    Enter KING, HELENA, and Attendants. LAFEU and PAROLLES retire

LAFEU

    Lustig, as the Dutchman says: I'll like a maid the
    better, whilst I have a tooth in my head: why, he's
    able to lead her a coranto.

PAROLLES

    Mort du vinaigre! is not this Helen?

LAFEU

    'Fore God, I think so.

KING

    Go, call before me all the lords in court.
    Sit, my preserver, by thy patient's side;
    And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense
    Thou hast repeal'd, a second time receive
    The confirmation of my promised gift,
    Which but attends thy naming.

    Enter three or four Lords
    Fair maid, send forth thine eye: this youthful parcel
    Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing,
    O'er whom both sovereign power and father's voice
    I have to use: thy frank election make;
    Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake.

HELENA

    To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress
    Fall, when Love please! marry, to each, but one!

LAFEU

    I'ld give bay Curtal and his furniture,
    My mouth no more were broken than these boys',
    And writ as little beard.

KING

    Peruse them well:
    Not one of those but had a noble father.

HELENA

    Gentlemen,
    Heaven hath through me restored the king to health.

All

    We understand it, and thank heaven for you.

HELENA

    I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest,
    That I protest I simply am a maid.
    Please it your majesty, I have done already:
    The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me,
    'We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refused,
    Let the white death sit on thy cheek for ever;
    We'll ne'er come there again.'

KING

    Make choice; and, see,
    Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me.

HELENA

    Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly,
    And to imperial Love, that god most high,
    Do my sighs stream. Sir, will you hear my suit?

First Lord

    And grant it.

HELENA

    Thanks, sir; all the rest is mute.

LAFEU

    I had rather be in this choice than throw ames-ace
    for my life.

HELENA

    The honour, sir, that flames in your fair eyes,
    Before I speak, too threateningly replies:
    Love make your fortunes twenty times above
    Her that so wishes and her humble love!

Second Lord

    No better, if you please.

HELENA

    My wish receive,
    Which great Love grant! and so, I take my leave.

LAFEU

    Do all they deny her? An they were sons of mine,
    I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the
    Turk, to make eunuchs of.

HELENA

    Be not afraid that I your hand should take;
    I'll never do you wrong for your own sake:
    Blessing upon your vows! and in your bed
    Find fairer fortune, if you ever wed!

LAFEU

    These boys are boys of ice, they'll none have her:
    sure, they are bastards to the English; the French
    ne'er got 'em.

HELENA

    You are too young, too happy, and too good,
    To make yourself a son out of my blood.

Fourth Lord

    Fair one, I think not so.

LAFEU

    There's one grape yet; I am sure thy father drunk
    wine: but if thou be'st not an ass, I am a youth
    of fourteen; I have known thee already.

HELENA

    [To BERTRAM] I dare not say I take you; but I give
    Me and my service, ever whilst I live,
    Into your guiding power. This is the man.

KING

    Why, then, young Bertram, take her; she's thy wife.

BERTRAM

    My wife, my liege! I shall beseech your highness,
    In such a business give me leave to use
    The help of mine own eyes.

KING

    Know'st thou not, Bertram,
    What she has done for me?

BERTRAM

    Yes, my good lord;
    But never hope to know why I should marry her.

KING

    Thou know'st she has raised me from my sickly bed.

BERTRAM

    But follows it, my lord, to bring me down
    Must answer for your raising? I know her well:
    She had her breeding at my father's charge.
    A poor physician's daughter my wife! Disdain
    Rather corrupt me ever!

KING

    'Tis only title thou disdain'st in her, the which
    I can build up. Strange is it that our bloods,
    Of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together,
    Would quite confound distinction, yet stand off
    In differences so mighty. If she be
    All that is virtuous, save what thou dislikest,
    A poor physician's daughter, thou dislikest
    Of virtue for the name: but do not so:
    From lowest place when virtuous things proceed,
    The place is dignified by the doer's deed:
    Where great additions swell's, and virtue none,
    It is a dropsied honour. Good alone
    Is good without a name. Vileness is so:
    The property by what it is should go,
    Not by the title. She is young, wise, fair;
    In these to nature she's immediate heir,
    And these breed honour: that is honour's scorn,
    Which challenges itself as honour's born
    And is not like the sire: honours thrive,
    When rather from our acts we them derive
    Than our foregoers: the mere word's a slave
    Debosh'd on every tomb, on every grave
    A lying trophy, and as oft is dumb
    Where dust and damn'd oblivion is the tomb
    Of honour'd bones indeed. What should be said?
    If thou canst like this creature as a maid,
    I can create the rest: virtue and she
    Is her own dower; honour and wealth from me.

BERTRAM

    I cannot love her, nor will strive to do't.

KING

    Thou wrong'st thyself, if thou shouldst strive to choose.

HELENA

    That you are well restored, my lord, I'm glad:
    Let the rest go.

KING

    My honour's at the stake; which to defeat,
    I must produce my power. Here, take her hand,
    Proud scornful boy, unworthy this good gift;
    That dost in vile misprision shackle up
    My love and her desert; that canst not dream,
    We, poising us in her defective scale,
    Shall weigh thee to the beam; that wilt not know,
    It is in us to plant thine honour where
    We please to have it grow. Cheque thy contempt:
    Obey our will, which travails in thy good:
    Believe not thy disdain, but presently
    Do thine own fortunes that obedient right
    Which both thy duty owes and our power claims;
    Or I will throw thee from my care for ever
    Into the staggers and the careless lapse
    Of youth and ignorance; both my revenge and hate
    Loosing upon thee, in the name of justice,
    Without all terms of pity. Speak; thine answer.

BERTRAM

    Pardon, my gracious lord; for I submit
    My fancy to your eyes: when I consider
    What great creation and what dole of honour
    Flies where you bid it, I find that she, which late
    Was in my nobler thoughts most base, is now
    The praised of the king; who, so ennobled,
    Is as 'twere born so.

KING

    Take her by the hand,
    And tell her she is thine: to whom I promise
    A counterpoise, if not to thy estate
    A balance more replete.

BERTRAM

    I take her hand.

KING

    Good fortune and the favour of the king
    Smile upon this contract; whose ceremony
    Shall seem expedient on the now-born brief,
    And be perform'd to-night: the solemn feast
    Shall more attend upon the coming space,
    Expecting absent friends. As thou lovest her,
    Thy love's to me religious; else, does err.

    Exeunt all but LAFEU and PAROLLES

LAFEU

    [Advancing] Do you hear, monsieur? a word with you.

PAROLLES

    Your pleasure, sir?

LAFEU

    Your lord and master did well to make his
    recantation.

PAROLLES

    Recantation! My lord! my master!

LAFEU

    Ay; is it not a language I speak?

PAROLLES

    A most harsh one, and not to be understood without
    bloody succeeding. My master!

LAFEU

    Are you companion to the Count Rousillon?

PAROLLES

    To any count, to all counts, to what is man.

LAFEU

    To what is count's man: count's master is of
    another style.

PAROLLES

    You are too old, sir; let it satisfy you, you are too old.

LAFEU

    I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man; to which
    title age cannot bring thee.

PAROLLES

    What I dare too well do, I dare not do.

LAFEU

    I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty
    wise fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy
    travel; it might pass: yet the scarfs and the
    bannerets about thee did manifoldly dissuade me from
    believing thee a vessel of too great a burthen. I
    have now found thee; when I lose thee again, I care
    not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and
    that thou't scarce worth.

PAROLLES

    Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,--

LAFEU

    Do not plunge thyself too far in anger, lest thou
    hasten thy trial; which if--Lord have mercy on thee
    for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee
    well: thy casement I need not open, for I look
    through thee. Give me thy hand.

PAROLLES

    My lord, you give me most egregious indignity.

LAFEU

    Ay, with all my heart; and thou art worthy of it.

PAROLLES

    I have not, my lord, deserved it.

LAFEU

    Yes, good faith, every dram of it; and I will not
    bate thee a scruple.

PAROLLES

    Well, I shall be wiser.

LAFEU

    Even as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at
    a smack o' the contrary. If ever thou be'st bound
    in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is
    to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold
    my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge,
    that I may say in the default, he is a man I know.

PAROLLES

    My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation.

LAFEU

    I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor
    doing eternal: for doing I am past: as I will by
    thee, in what motion age will give me leave.

    Exit

PAROLLES

    Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off
    me; scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord! Well, I must
    be patient; there is no fettering of authority.
    I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with
    any convenience, an he were double and double a
    lord. I'll have no more pity of his age than I
    would of--I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again.

    Re-enter LAFEU

LAFEU

    Sirrah, your lord and master's married; there's news
    for you: you have a new mistress.

PAROLLES

    I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make
    some reservation of your wrongs: he is my good
    lord: whom I serve above is my master.

LAFEU

    Who? God?

PAROLLES

    Ay, sir.

LAFEU

    The devil it is that's thy master. Why dost thou
    garter up thy arms o' this fashion? dost make hose of
    sleeves? do other servants so? Thou wert best set
    thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine
    honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'ld beat
    thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and
    every man should beat thee: I think thou wast
    created for men to breathe themselves upon thee.

PAROLLES

    This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord.

LAFEU

    Go to, sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a
    kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond and
    no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords
    and honourable personages than the commission of your
    birth and virtue gives you heraldry. You are not
    worth another word, else I'ld call you knave. I leave you.

    Exit

PAROLLES

    Good, very good; it is so then: good, very good;
    let it be concealed awhile.

    Re-enter BERTRAM

BERTRAM

    Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever!

PAROLLES

    What's the matter, sweet-heart?

BERTRAM

    Although before the solemn priest I have sworn,
    I will not bed her.

PAROLLES

    What, what, sweet-heart?

BERTRAM

    O my Parolles, they have married me!
    I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her.

PAROLLES

    France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits
    The tread of a man's foot: to the wars!

BERTRAM

    There's letters from my mother: what the import is,
    I know not yet.

PAROLLES

    Ay, that would be known. To the wars, my boy, to the wars!
    He wears his honour in a box unseen,
    That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home,
    Spending his manly marrow in her arms,
    Which should sustain the bound and high curvet
    Of Mars's fiery steed. To other regions
    France is a stable; we that dwell in't jades;
    Therefore, to the war!

BERTRAM

    It shall be so: I'll send her to my house,
    Acquaint my mother with my hate to her,
    And wherefore I am fled; write to the king
    That which I durst not speak; his present gift
    Shall furnish me to those Italian fields,
    Where noble fellows strike: war is no strife
    To the dark house and the detested wife.

PAROLLES

    Will this capriccio hold in thee? art sure?

BERTRAM

    Go with me to my chamber, and advise me.
    I'll send her straight away: to-morrow
    I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow.

PAROLLES

    Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard:
    A young man married is a man that's marr'd:
    Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go:
    The king has done you wrong: but, hush, 'tis so.

    Exeunt

SCENE 4. → 5

Paris. The King’s palace

SCENE IV. Paris. The KING's palace.

    Enter HELENA and Clown

HELENA

    My mother greets me kindly; is she well?

Clown

    She is not well; but yet she has her health: she's
    very merry; but yet she is not well: but thanks be
    given, she's very well and wants nothing i', the
    world; but yet she is not well.

HELENA

    If she be very well, what does she ail, that she's
    not very well?

Clown

    Truly, she's very well indeed, but for two things.

HELENA

    What two things?

Clown

    One, that she's not in heaven, whither God send her
    quickly! the other that she's in earth, from whence
    God send her quickly!

    Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES

    Bless you, my fortunate lady!

HELENA

    I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own
    good fortunes.

PAROLLES

    You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them
    on, have them still. O, my knave, how does my old lady?

Clown

    So that you had her wrinkles and I her money,
    I would she did as you say.

PAROLLES

    Why, I say nothing.

Clown

    Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man's
    tongue shakes out his master's undoing: to say
    nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have
    nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which
    is within a very little of nothing.

PAROLLES

    Away! thou'rt a knave.

Clown

    You should have said, sir, before a knave thou'rt a
    knave; that's, before me thou'rt a knave: this had
    been truth, sir.

PAROLLES

    Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

Clown

    Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you
    taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable;
    and much fool may you find in you, even to the
    world's pleasure and the increase of laughter.

PAROLLES

    A good knave, i' faith, and well fed.
    Madam, my lord will go away to-night;
    A very serious business calls on him.
    The great prerogative and rite of love,
    Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge;
    But puts it off to a compell'd restraint;
    Whose want, and whose delay, is strew'd with sweets,
    Which they distil now in the curbed time,
    To make the coming hour o'erflow with joy
    And pleasure drown the brim.

HELENA

    What's his will else?

PAROLLES

    That you will take your instant leave o' the king
    And make this haste as your own good proceeding,
    Strengthen'd with what apology you think
    May make it probable need.

HELENA

    What more commands he?

PAROLLES

    That, having this obtain'd, you presently
    Attend his further pleasure.

HELENA

    In every thing I wait upon his will.

PAROLLES

    I shall report it so.

HELENA

    I pray you.

    Exit PAROLLES
    Come, sirrah.

    Exeunt


SCENE 5. → 

Paris. The King’s palae


SCENE V. Paris. The KING's palace.

    Enter LAFEU and BERTRAM

LAFEU

    But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

BERTRAM

    Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

LAFEU

    You have it from his own deliverance.

BERTRAM

    And by other warranted testimony.

LAFEU

    Then my dial goes not true: I took this lark for a bunting.

BERTRAM

    I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in
    knowledge and accordingly valiant.

LAFEU

    I have then sinned against his experience and
    transgressed against his valour; and my state that
    way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my
    heart to repent. Here he comes: I pray you, make
    us friends; I will pursue the amity.

    Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES

    [To BERTRAM] These things shall be done, sir.

LAFEU

    Pray you, sir, who's his tailor?

PAROLLES

    Sir?

LAFEU

    O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, 's a good
    workman, a very good tailor.

BERTRAM

    [Aside to PAROLLES] Is she gone to the king?

PAROLLES

    She is.

BERTRAM

    Will she away to-night?

PAROLLES

    As you'll have her.

BERTRAM

    I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,
    Given order for our horses; and to-night,
    When I should take possession of the bride,
    End ere I do begin.

LAFEU

    A good traveller is something at the latter end of a
    dinner; but one that lies three thirds and uses a
    known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should
    be once heard and thrice beaten. God save you, captain.

BERTRAM

    Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

PAROLLES

    I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord's
    displeasure.

LAFEU

    You have made shift to run into 't, boots and spurs
    and all, like him that leaped into the custard; and
    out of it you'll run again, rather than suffer
    question for your residence.

BERTRAM

    It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

LAFEU

    And shall do so ever, though I took him at 's
    prayers. Fare you well, my lord; and believe this
    of me, there can be no kernel in this light nut; the
    soul of this man is his clothes. Trust him not in
    matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them
    tame, and know their natures. Farewell, monsieur:
    I have spoken better of you than you have or will to
    deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

    Exit

PAROLLES

    An idle lord. I swear.

BERTRAM

    I think so.

PAROLLES

    Why, do you not know him?

BERTRAM

    Yes, I do know him well, and common speech
    Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog.

    Enter HELENA

HELENA

    I have, sir, as I was commanded from you,
    Spoke with the king and have procured his leave
    For present parting; only he desires
    Some private speech with you.

BERTRAM

    I shall obey his will.
    You must not marvel, Helen, at my course,
    Which holds not colour with the time, nor does
    The ministration and required office
    On my particular. Prepared I was not
    For such a business; therefore am I found
    So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you
    That presently you take our way for home;
    And rather muse than ask why I entreat you,
    For my respects are better than they seem
    And my appointments have in them a need
    Greater than shows itself at the first view
    To you that know them not. This to my mother:

    Giving a letter
    'Twill be two days ere I shall see you, so
    I leave you to your wisdom.

HELENA

    Sir, I can nothing say,
    But that I am your most obedient servant.

BERTRAM

    Come, come, no more of that.

HELENA

    And ever shall
    With true observance seek to eke out that
    Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail'd
    To equal my great fortune.

BERTRAM

    Let that go:
    My haste is very great: farewell; hie home.

HELENA

    Pray, sir, your pardon.

BERTRAM

    Well, what would you say?

HELENA

    I am not worthy of the wealth I owe,
    Nor dare I say 'tis mine, and yet it is;
    But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal
    What law does vouch mine own.

BERTRAM

    What would you have?

HELENA

    Something; and scarce so much: nothing, indeed.
    I would not tell you what I would, my lord:
    Faith yes;
    Strangers and foes do sunder, and not kiss.

BERTRAM

    I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

HELENA

    I shall not break your bidding, good my lord.

BERTRAM

    Where are my other men, monsieur? Farewell.

    Exit HELENA
    Go thou toward home; where I will never come
    Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum.
    Away, and for our flight.

PAROLLES

    Bravely, coragio!

    Exeunt
  Top. 

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